Being a stand-up comedian involves developing the hide of a rhinoceros when it comes to your personal appearance.
After all, an aspiring comic will struggle to exude ease and confidence in front of a packed audience if they are panicking about their appearance.
American comedian Artie Lange is always open to poking fun at his unusually shaped nose, having previously described it as a ‘disaster’ and ‘grotesque’.
People started to notice the shape of Artie’s nose in December 2018, after the 51-year-old comic appeared before a court, having tested positive for various drugs including cocaine and amphetamine, benzodiazepines.
Writing on Twitter towards the end of 2018, Artie said:
My nose looks like it got hit w 32 yrs of gambling drugs booze strippers Whores. Good women Bad women Loved ones dying.Loved ones leaving stand up Comedy The road Movies TV radio books /dreams coming true. Dreams not /anger jails rehabs mental wards detoxes cigarettes & fun. 143
And the origin story behind Artie’s unique schnozz sounds beyond painful…
Speaking on the Craig Ferguson Show in 2017, Artie spoke about a gruesome ‘glass snorting’ incident which left his nose in tatters.
Spinning a wince-worthy yarn which could well be used in schools to put kids off doing drugs, Artie explained :
She [an unnamed ‘really beautiful’ woman] cut up a pill with a salt shaker. And it broke. And she didn’t know that.And a package came for her at the front desk, of course, and she left. So now I saw the line, I didn’t know it was glass, and I did it. And it was like a zipper.
Seriously, if anyone on this earth deserves a spa day, complete with soothing scented candles, it’s Artie Lange’s nose.
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